Please Believe Me
by Abigail Schooley
Winona State University
Abigail Schooley is currently in her fourth year at Winona State University, double majoring in Creative Writing and Spanish, with a minor in Literature and Language. She is an aspiring poet, author and artist. She is planning to study abroad this coming year in her last semester of college! Her social media to share her art is on Instagram @abbys.artxx.
Please Believe Me
My body, your playground
now marked and abused,
are you happy with taking
what was not given to you?
I still have not showered off the scent
your sweat, my fear,
the sign in the women’s bathroom
‘what to do if you’re sexually assaulted’ tells me:
“don’t shower, and save the clothes you were wearing”
evidence that gained no justice for me
it’s written all over my skin,
nowhere to hide, no way to deny
the abuse that happened at this park last night.
my womb is fragile,
aching,
needing
days of rest, one week off of class
I shrink in the darkness
under my eyes
and under my blanket
can i preserve
whatever I have left?
I hide away
the markings stay,
all up my neck and on my face
when people notice they ask
“Looks like you had a fun night?”
My head,
unbelievably heavy when I try
to nod and laugh it off
the space in my lungs, shrinking,
I cannot breathe.
You took a piece of me that day
I can never get back.
An innocence comes with the belief
that people will only take what is freely given.
I didn’t give in. I said no. I did. I said no.
Yes, I had been drinking. I know I said no.
I think I said no. Now I don’t fucking know.
Tear filled glances in the mirror,
I hate how I appear.
Like someone who asked for it.
Interview With The Author
1. What was your inspiration for this piece?
The advanced poetry class I took this past semester. Most of the poems I've produced in these past few months have dealt with my past traumas, and trying to heal from them through writing.
2. What is your creative process?
I have a poetry journal, and I will write all sorts of things in it that could possibly turn into a poem at some point. After I have some time away from the concept or snippet of what I've put in there, I'll either write down another version in my journal or I'll take it to Google Docs and format it how I feel works best.
3. What are some influences on your artistic process?
Don't take things too seriously, which may seem ironic as this poem is pretty serious, but I feel that you need to let loose and write about tough things in lighter ways to cope, and then come back to it later and decide if you want to revise it and change the tone a bit better to fit what you're trying to get across.
4. Is there anything more you’d like our readers/viewers to know about you or your work?
I would love to create a story that is in the form of poetry, including art I have made while writing them (journal doodles, more finished drawings etc). Manifesting!