China Doll: An Update
by Emma Hua
American University
Emma Hua is a writer studying Literature at American University with a concentration in Cinema Studies. She’s passionate about Asian representation and how Asian people are presented and treated in the media. Emma enjoys movies in her spare time with a soft spot for horror and romantic comedies. When inspired, she writes essays about her favorite movies. She’s active on Instagram at the handle bat.hua and yes, she loves Batman.
China Doll: An Update
China Doll.
China Doll wears a dress in beautiful gold and red.
China Doll is beautiful with gorgeous black hair and deep, soulful eyes.
China Doll smiles as she laughs with her fellow China Dolls while playing cards.
China Doll.
China Doll is wanted by men, all kinds of men.
China Doll is abducted by a man with fair hands and blond hair.
China Doll is dropped and earns her first crack.
China Doll.
China Doll is forced into marriage to save her family.
China Doll is manhandled by all the men she encounters.
China Doll smiles and laughs as a man tells her, “Me so horny. Me love you long time.”
China Doll.
China Doll slowly begins to fade away.
China Doll continues to crack, slowly chipping away.
China Doll’s deep soulful eyes become empty as she becomes numb.
China Doll.
China Doll is gangraped and beaten to an inch of her life.
China Doll is then burned alive to get rid of the evidence.
China Doll becomes invisible in the midst of “political correctness.”
China Doll.
China Doll is discarded because people don’t care about China Doll.
China Doll is racist because she was abducted by White men.
China Doll is a White Supremacist and Worshiper because she was tortured by the White man.
China Doll.
China Doll is pushed into the tracks of the subway.
China Doll becomes a cry for better mental health services.
China Doll’s life becomes a political statement for anything but her own life.
China Doll.
China Doll was followed home.
China Doll had her head bashed in by a rock.
China Doll can’t even be talked about because everyone accuses us of being something else because we’re angry and upset.
China Doll.
China Doll is beaten by the police when she needed a mental health checkup.
China Doll is raped and killed because everyone views her as a fleshlight than a human being.
China Doll is forced to crawl out of a pool of her own blood and to continue smiling as the cracks grow bigger.
China Doll.
China Doll needs pepper spray.
China Doll must keep an earbud in to make sure she hears something and can be alert.
China Doll has to look at the window’s reflection to make sure someone isn’t following her.
China Doll.
China Doll was attacked in the one place she thought she’d feel comfortable in.
China Doll had a panic attack and was followed and couldn’t do anything.
China Doll had to call her dad because she didn’t know what to do and she was so scared and she felt so alone.
China Doll.
China Doll saw people stare down at her in disgust when she was attacked.
China Doll’s pain was not taken seriously because she’s China Doll.
China Doll can’t even go to class without fearing for her life and became a Hermit to protect herself.
China Doll.
China Doll is afraid to speak up.
China Doll is a victim that is never seen, always invisible, and yet always present and has been for centuries.
China Doll is afraid to be seen as “politically incorrect” because her experience doesn’t align with the current agenda.
China Doll.
China Doll is numb because she believes and knows that the world doesn’t care about her.
China Doll is completely cracked.
China Doll is me.
Interview with the Poet
1. What was your inspiration for this piece?
My inspiration for this piece hurts. It hurts every time I think about what caused me to write this piece. I was listening to a podcast. It’s an Asian centric podcast that talks about issues people in the Asian diaspora face. And they were talking about Christina Yuna Lee, another Asian woman who was attacked. And as they were talking about how they felt, I realized that they could put how I was feeling about the attack. I was numb to the whole thing. All I could do was shrug and continue my day and do my schoolwork. But I realized, while I was listening, that I cared and the reason why I felt so numb about the whole thing was because I cared a lot. And the anniversary of the Atlanta Spa Shootings was also approaching and I realized that nothing has changed. I wrote a poem about Atlanta last year and I felt that it was fitting to write a sort of sequel. I’ve changed a lot in the past year but the world I live in has only gotten worse. And it’s clear that people don’t care about people like me and it’s my obligation to scream so we can be heard.
2. What is your creative process? (How do you go about writing or creating?)
My creation process isn’t that complicated. I listen or watch something and inspiration hits. And I go to my computer quickly and just start writing. After I’m done writing, I go back and edit it. I usually write with fully formed sentences in my mind already. I do need something playing in the background when I write like a movie, podcast, music.
3. What are some influences on your artistic process?
I don’t have many influences on my artistic process. Music tends to heavily influence what I write because it sets the tone. I particularly like listening to K-Pop, like SEVENTEEN, and rock, like Måneskin. Plus I think music is great for editing. Form wise, I would argue that Stephen King has influenced my process. I’m always trying to reduce my usage of adverbs since he said the road to Hell is paved with adverbs.
4. Is there anything more you’d like our readers/viewers to know about you or your work?
I really love movies and comic books and books and music and pop culture. And I’m very passionate and hopefully I’ll be able to publish some movie essays I’ve written. And maybe you guys will read when I publish. And to any Asian readers who read my poem, I love you. You are loved. And you are seen. I see you. And I understand how you feel. My love especially goes out to my fellow Asian women. We’re awesome. And our influence is unstoppable.