In Which My Orchestra Director Crosses Boundaries

By Kate Soupiset

Kate is a first-year English major with a concentration in Creative Writing at DePaul University. She grew up in San Antonio, TX, and published her first collection of poetry, False Anatomy, in April 2019.

---

your blurry figure appears in the corner of my eye
not now, please don’t say anything
the hallway grows to accommodate you

you’re like a ringing phone, waiting to be picked up
you’re like a leaf stuck in my hair, gum on my shoe

my friend’s eye on your hand on my elbow:
this keeps me awake at night
the spot on my arm stings under the sheets

I think of your reputation and mine
I think of your silence and mine

it stings all day

my pearl earrings
my lipstick
my hair, pinned up
they’re all beggars, suddenly asking for it.

But I don’t want it
I don’t want your authoritative attention
I don’t want to be that student, that girl

so I don’t wear makeup
I wear baggy clothes and I start hating my body more and more—
stare at it in the mirror until I’ve discovered every bump and bulge
let the shame crescendo, let the tears brim at my cheeks—

maybe you’ll start hating it too.

---

Interview With The Author

1. What inspired the creation of your piece?
   The title, “In Which My Orchestra Director Crosses Boundaries,” alludes quite strongly to the reason I wrote this poem. I had a teacher in high school who made me very uncomfortable and nervous. While nothing too serious ever happened, I internalized this unwanted attention and became disgusted with him and myself.

2. How did you start writing?
   I got into writing in fourth grade and more seriously in seventh grade when my English teacher had us turn in a poem every week. While most of my peers hated it, I loved it because I think I had a lot of poems I had been needing to write. Through that year of writing weekly poems, I think I found my voice and passion for poetry.

3. Why do you write?
   I write because it is sometimes the only way I can express what I’m feeling. I also think writing, specifically poetry, is a unique form that allows an author’s unique worldview to be conveyed through images and language that feels at once familiar and strange.

4. If asked to define your work in three words, what would those words be?
   Probably young, mundane, and intimate.

5. Is there anything you would like those who view your piece to know?
   I think this piece can strike a chord with many people and open up conversations about boundaries, why they’re healthy, and what to do when those boundaries are crossed. I also hope that people will see the way that small actions can have a great impact on a person, and that uncomfortable experiences should be talked about with those we trust. I think uncovering shame and having vulnerable conversations can be really powerful in any relationship and truly brings people closer together. 

Editor’s Note

“This piece is emotional, engaging, and relatable in any possible way, especially for a woman in this era dealing with any type of abuse.”

“In Which My Orchestra Director Crosses Boundaries” is a powerful poem that resonates with its audience. After reading this thought-provoking piece, I couldn’t get my mind off the real and raw tone. I think it's important for members of our society to read poems such as this. It helps to bring awareness to the insecurities and emotions of real people in real situations.”