Mary’s Lipstick
by Ella Charette
College of Charleston
Ella Charette is a rising Junior at the College of Charleston, majoring in theatre and minoring in creative writing. She has a passion for storytelling, especially stories that cover queer themes. She is thrilled to share her piece “Mary’s Lipstick,” a story that explores family, societal pressures, and self-expression.
My sister's lipstick was tacky, specifically on her. A dark, maroon color, packed up into a cheap plastic tube. It didn't fit my sister, Mary, at all. All my life, she consisted of dusty pink blushes, light mascara, and a childlike naivety despite her being three years older. Her closet contained only the most pastel of colors. Flowy white skirts, woolen cardigans, and flowery blouses, light blue and lacey, like our parents preferred. I had always thought Mary preferred it to, until she had dragged me to the CVS nearby my school. She had a devious grin creep onto her face as she spoke, “Let's go shopping!”
Like always, I followed her, watching her pick up and examine every highlighter and foundation in the makeup aisle. I stood a couple steps back, being careful to avoid eye contact with anyone who happened to pass by. At one point, an older woman wobbled by, her walker scuffing the tiled floor beneath us. I recognized her as another member of our church, Mrs. Moore. She was friendly to our mother, otherwise she was always scowling. She didn't notice me or Mary, instead shuffling her way towards the pharmaceutical counter.
“What do you think of this color?” Mary asked. I observed the package in her hand, a lipstick, bright red.
“It's fine,” I muttered.
“Really? Just ‘fine?’ Come on, I need some actual advice here, I want to try something new!” She grabbed another shade, this time a noxious green. “What about this one?”
I scrunched up my nose. I couldn't imagine Mary in such a color. It was out of place compared to the rest of her wardrobe. It was obnoxious, so unlike her. “I don't know! If you wanted actual advice, you should’ve asked one of your friends to come.”
Mary scoffed. “You’re my brother, that's close enough. Plus I trust your judgement.”
“Sure.”
“I'm serious!” She assured, whipping around. “Remember when I dressed you up in my princess costume?” My body stiffened, listening out for a certain scuffling. I motioned for her to stop, but she kept going. “Oh don't be embarrassed, you were like two. I dressed you up as Ariel and did your hair! Remember?”
“Yeah?”
“Then I sat you down on the bathroom sink, and we dug through mom’s makeup…” She placed a hand on my shoulder, leading me closer to the displays. “...then you screeched at me for using the wrong color, or for using eyeshadow incorrectly.”
“You were putting green dots all over my face!” I remembered that night vividly, our parents were arguing about something or another in the living room. I had been reading a book, and midway through flipping the page, my stubby fingers had been grasped by Mary’s. She led me to her room, and there the fun began. Our mother found us two hours later, faces covered in sparkles. She was so peeved. “It looked ugly, the green.”
Mary pouted. “They were meant to be fish scales, ok? But you get what I'm saying, right? You have good judgment when it comes to makeup, so tell me, what shade would you pick?”
My gaze turned to the lipsticks in front of us. “I don't know.”
“Yes, you do,” Mary whispered. “Just choose the one that speaks to you.” I stood still for a minute, my shoulders finally relaxing under her hand. I glanced over the shelves again, before reaching out for that dark maroon color. I held it for a moment, tracing the line where the cap met the body of the tube. I pressed my thumb down, watching in fascination as the cap slid off. “This one?” Mary asked, surprised. Gingerly, she took the tube and twisted so that she could swatch the color against her skin. I looked at her wrist, the color looking back. It was a beautiful color, but it wasn't very Mary.
“I don't know,” I mumbled quietly, catching in my peripheral vision that Mrs. Moore was watching us from across the store, her gaze like daggers, “But I like it.”
We left the CVS shortly after, Mary having bought a couple of items, including the maroon lipstick. We barely spoke a word, just enjoying the pleasant hum of the radio.
Now, a week later, I found myself in her room digging through her makeup bag. I couldn't help but shiver at the familiarity of the situation. I checked the door, ensuring myself that no one would barge in, then pulled out a familiar tube. I took off the cap and twisted to see the beautiful maroon.
My hand shook as I brought it to my lips, the color settling itself nicely. The lipstick itself was horrible, it felt grainy, the formula was shit, it dried out my already chapped lips, yet seeing the shaky application made me feel…
“Pretty.” The word slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it, and a gratifying, uplifting feeling began to buzz rapidly in my chest. The same feeling that came when I saw myself in that stupid Ariel costume all those years ago.
“Hello?” Mary’s voice. Suddenly, that wonderful feeling dropped uncomfortably in my stomach, churning and churning. Fermenting into shame. I hastily swiped my hands across my mouth, smashing my lips against my teeth in the process. The lipstick wouldn’t wipe off completely, leaving disgusting smears down and around my chin.
“Don’t look!” I spat, shoving past her as I rushed towards my room.
I had felt so awful that night, tossing and turning. Waiting for the moment my bedroom door would slam open and all hell would break loose. But nothing came.
A few days later, I found a neatly folded notecard underneath my pillow, along with that damned lipstick. I recoiled at the sight of it, choosing to pick up the note instead. It read,
I promise I won’t tell mom or dad.
Please, keep the lipstick.
I bought it for you anyway.
~ Mary
How very typical of Mary, I smiled at the note, hiding both it and the lipstick deep within my drawer. I hoped maybe I would get a chance to wear it again. It was, after all, a very pretty color.
Interview with the Author
1. What inspired you to write this piece? What was your thought process throughout?
This piece actually began as a character study for another piece I currently planning. In that story, I have a character who is trans fem, and I wanted to explore their life before the events of the story and their transition. I always try and imagine what a characters life is like before the events of a story, that way it’s easier for me to imagine what choices they’d make in a situation! It’s also just a fun writing exercise.
2. What struggles or challenges did you face while writing your piece?
One challenge I had while writing was making sure I represent characters properly. The narrator is a trans individual, and one worry I had was misrepresenting them because I am not. I have friends who are trans and queer, and I myself am part of the LGBTQ+ community, but that does not make me an expert. There are things I will not know, because I myself have never gone through the types of struggles trans people do. So I did a lot of research, and while I know my writing may not be perfect representation, I made sure to get it the best that it can be.
3. What is your favorite piece of fiction (short story, novel, flash fiction, movie, TV series etc.) that you’ve ever read or seen? Why?
My favorite piece of fiction would have the be the How To Train Your Dragon franchise. I am obsessed with the movies and tv shows, have not yet read the original books but I’ll get to it one day, but I love it! I am a sucker for dragons, and when it comes to designing and characterizing dragons, HTTYD does it right. If I ever make a series that involves dragons, it will be heavily inspired by HTTYD.
4. What are some goals/plans you may have for your future and for your writing?
I have a lot of future goals for my writing, right now I’m planning out my next short story that’s is physiological horror, and it has been really fun plotting out and imagining. I have a lot of other projects on the back burner as well, short stories, novels, as well as some plays! I would really love to have more of my work published one day, and this is a fantastic start, so I’m really happy and proud of myself!